I've been seeing this guy. He started out being completely wonderful, just amazing. He is southern, so he has this charm about him...and a super, southern, country accent. (which i ADORE). At first he was so polite, opening doors for me, carrying my dinner plate, saying yes ma'am or no ma'am and being completely aware and accomodating of my feelings.
Now, it's just like he isn't who i thought he was. He drinks more than i thought. He isn't rude, but he doesn't really go out of his way to be nice to me anymore. He just isn't the same. For the first time, i actually feel sad that it isn't turning out how i wanted it to. Before this one, i had grown to expect little to nothing from any man, in regard to feelings, sensitivity, manners...things of that nature. For some reason or another, i am truely disappointed that he isn't what i thought.
I find myself actually being sad that i haven't seen him in a week, or that he doesn't talk to me very much anymore, or that he stopped calling me babe. He still calls me darlin' or sweetheart, but i just don't think he means it anymore. His new found behavior toward me has led me to a few conclusions to choose from...
One: He is seeing someone else.
Two: He isn't interested in me anymore.
Three: I'm completely over-analyzing this situation. (Something i do easily and ALOT)
I have no idea what's going on, but i DO know that i do not like feeling like i have no control. I don't like feeling sad about someone when i think they don't feel the same. I don't like NOT having the upper hand. It's just how i am...
What i DON'T know, is why i even care. Why is it even an issue for me? Why can't i help but to be bothered by this? Could i have actually developed true feelings for someone?
HOLY SHIT!...This girl is confused, frustrated, sad...unsure (which is NOT an easy feeling for me)
I have no idea what to do about this man...i'm not used to having feelings anymore.
I'm going out of my mind.
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